Now

I want to go to the forrest.
I want to sleep among wooden giants.
I want to see the stars,
 to see the moon,
 and the planets,

To escape the city, just for a night just for a moment.

Just to get away from the everlasting hum of fluorescent bulbs
 to escape the hard unforgiving concrete that surrounds me
 to inhale and smell the earths soft breath

to finally release the tension
set betwixt my shoulder blades

I want to open my eyes and see stars not concrete

I want to inhale the moon, suck up the sea and lay on the rivers lonely coast
to shed the iron flakes that have settled where sunshine once rose, to awaken to a day on a lawn of freshly borne stones still warm from the womb of the earth

Yet here lay in my bed trapped by 17 floors of pure civilization

Untitled

Sometimes I cant speak.
I can't say what I want. Im thinking the words, they are there in my throat, but I wont let them out. I sit silently listening to you. Im thinking of responses but trapping them in my throat and swallowing them down. You talk to me, telling me your hopes and dreams, but I swallow mine.

I sometimes feel words cannot explain me. I am an intangible catatharsis of self that can only be spoken in a language I don't yet know. So I swallow my words.

As you open your self up to me your words fill my pores, and all I want to do is to reassure you and tell you I feel the same way but words don't let me express my feelings.

I know I need time to meditate on your expressions of self, to find time to discover the language that fits the gap between your words and my feelings. I wish I could just use the words in my head but they don't fully convey the feelings in my soul. I need to find new ones to fit the gap.

So if I don't reply its not that I don't care, Its that I care so much I must explore words to find the perfect language of the birds, to find the words to bridge the gap.

I think I once knew this language, but those who came before you drained it from my self. So I'm left to find something new.

I want to hold your hands and have you know, and have every thing fall into place, but the world doesn't work like that.

Even if it did, everything would fall through the gaps.

So it may take me a while but give me time and eventually Ill find the words and in return maybe you will let me fill you, the way you fill me.