Crit Week

crit week is killing me...

 I haven't slept this little since I left the department,
     but I haven been sleeping because Ive been working on stuff down in the fashion department...

Its a vicious cycle.

Be a perfectionist-
     get no sleep making things perfect.

Go to bed and live with less than perfect work-
     get no satisfying sleep due to worrying about sloppiness...

So id rather not sleep and be perfect, or try to be perfect because perfectionism is an unfortunate illusion.

Ah I cant wait to finish my shoes and go to sleep.

Portfolio Photos

So lately theres been some talk of how Instagram photos can be used by Facebook for profit...

I am not a member of the smart phone bionic sector of our population with a phones that take photos, run programs, or do anything other than call or occasionally text.

I dont even have Instagram...

But I do use Facebook... and despite the fact that I actually read the disclosure statements that most of the population clicks through. I am not a lawyer or a translator of legal jargon but I have a healthy skepticism of the word free...and of people to credit you and not steal your ideas for profit.

So rather than post my photos on facebook, I will now post them here. I understand that this is still the internet and people can still steal my photos here, but at least its on my own web page, and if your nice you will read the Creative Commons license at the bottom and respect it. If you want to use my photos Im glad you like them ask first please and as an artist I understand the need to manipulate and translate the world as you see fit, so be free and enjoy my perspective of my world, I hope you see the beauty as I do.

Dear World, Its me...What should I do with my life?

So I have no idea what do with my life.
     I have made and stuck to ten and five year plans since I was seven...I realize its a bit weird for a seven year old to have a ten year plan, but when you know you know,
and when you dont know...YOU DONT KNOW!

What I'm trying to say for the first time since second grade I have no idea.

     Im not saying Im following the life goals of a seven year old, the goals have always had room for adjustment and allowed for changing tides, but its the first time in my life I have not had a solid plan for a major decision.

So what do I do? Stick to the path im on:

Continue in the Fashion department next semester despite that some days it makes me cry, I often feel really dumb in that class, I don't sleep for three days a week because of it. The stress makes me, well stressed, I never have time to be social, or to really hang out with my residents. I may have to choose next year between my job and the department, which would mean more loans. I can't take the only non first year course my favorite professor teaches. I can't take any of my first choice studio electives. I basically sell my life to be in the fashion department, but it leads to being in a real fashion show at the end of the year. My secret life goal since I was a kid, being a fashion designer. The opportunity to graduate among an elite group of designers, considering if I drop the course I have to reapply to the department and start all over again, from year one, meaning more loans, more time, more stress. But sometimes the department makes me feel vapid and as though I am not using my time to positively impact society as I have always hoped I would...

Or get freaky with it and completely change my life plan:

If I change to designed objects, I will have more time to live outside of the studio. Probably less stressed, have more time to do art for fun, not be locked in to giving up 6 credits per semester to do the fashion program. I can take shoe making next semester which means I get to work with leather! But I will probably get to take this class later. I have to start out in a new program with intro a year and a half into my college career, In something that will most likely involve a bit of Math and well lets not talk about my relationship with that jerk. But maybe this could be more profitable in the long run. Are there more jobs in object design than in fashion? I also have might have more time to focus on my personal practice do some installations and some photos, and the third partner in the menage a trois of my college career, fiber art. But I might really suck at designed objects, and everyone in my class will probably be freshman computer geniuses. In designed objects you are not as locked in, I can still take fashion electives without being in the core classes so I could take fiber too... But what if I hate it and want to go back, id have to reapply... gah... what to do, what to do?

All the classes ive signed up so far, once I decide I'll drop the other classes.

the Weather

     When I decided to move to Chicago for college people told me the weather was going to be awful. Being from Northern California where its freakish if it's below 35 in the winter, but not uncommon for it to be above 100 in the summer, I got used to the idea. However it didn't even snow here this winter. Well it did, but it didn't stick and it was certainly no "Snowpocalypse"like the year before, it was just uber cold and windy. I had prepared for the worst, down jacket, snow shoes, costco packs of coco, tons of cute winter accessories, but it was never that bad. In winter Chicogans rock the Michelin man look with down jackets and puffy layers.  Even native Chicogans in winter remind me of the Lumpies in The Secrets of Droon books I read as a child. All puffy and pillow-like  they could lay in the street and use their massive jackets as sleeping bags and nap rather than face the frigid lake winds. I certainly wasn't used to the cold winter I experienced here, I never had a "mental health day" but I never had to trudge through snow.

Chicagoans look like Lumpies
in their winter wear

     The summer here is completely different. Its actually not that hot. Only upper 80's low 90's, but the humidity is what makes summer disgusting. If it were like this in Cali I know I would see wayy more girls walking around Raley's in bikinis and the micro short would be worn by everyone. But the midwest has a whole new fashion compared to California when it comes to summer. First off short shorts. In Cali it's the norm, they are so common there is no need for repetition, they are just shorts. Here in Chicago most women and ladies shorts reach to mid thigh, where as my shorts from home just cover what on most people would be my ass (but I am assless). Secondly lots of women wear huge sun hats, although common on the beach scene, wearing them while walking around Chicago forces people to give the hat wearer a very wide girth as if she was inside a bubble. Quite impractical for a crowded city. When the wind blows from the lake creating stroung gusts that blow through the canyon like streets these ladies look like blushing nude sculptures as they hold their dresses down and their hats on. Thirdly, people are wearing a lot of really long and over sized stuff, long jersey cotton maxi dresses, big parachute- like pants, oversize tees and mens shorts. Sure these are all the fashion these days, but when it comes down to it weather should be the deciding factor when it comes to fashion. Sure these people look cool and they got swagger, but it it really worth it to be uncomfortable all day? The humidity makes even the coolest cotton shirt stick to one's skin like temporary tattoos, so why make the problem worse. I admit it though, as a fashion student there are some occasions when I suffer to be beautiful. However I have learned that in such cases I just end up complaining the whole time. I personally detest and utterly despise complainers so I have learned to sacrifice fashion for comfort in certain situations, as to not be a hippocrite.
    Chicogans I say do, it adopt the Cali staple, wear the short shorts, and the bikini tops, if you can. The maxi dresses and oversize clothes are not functional in such a humid climate. You will be much happier in this sticky summer rockin' shotie shorts and showin some skin, I know I am.